While I am waiting for God's calling to return to Haiti and I struggle daily to stay focused on what God has placed in front of me now...I find my mind wandering to my kids in Haiti. To there smiling faces, to their laughter, to there cries, to Den-Den wheeling his wheelchair around like a maniac, to cuddling with Job and wiping his tears, to watching Ju-Ju stand up on her own for the first time. While I am at placement I am constantly thinking of ways to apply what I am doing and learning to my kids and work in Haiti. At times I feel out of place here, almost like I don't fit in. It is hard when you heart and mind are someplace else. When those around you understand your heart but don't really get the depth of your passion. It is hard when everything here and around you just doesn't seem to fit right. Is that because I have changed? Is it for the good? Tons of questions rush through my head. This has been my struggle the past 6 weeks. I know Haiti is a part of me, apart of my future but RIGHT NOW....well, it is not. God has placed me here in America to learn, study, and allow him to prepare me, for when he calls me. I know he is working in ways I cannot even see. I am learning to wait upon the Lord and his timing. I am trying to live in the moment and have no regrets. I know God can use me everyday in every situation if I am willing and open to it. I want to live a surrendered life in Christ. The song that has really touched me the last few days is "While I'm Waiting" By: John Waller
I'm waitingI'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
My deepest prayer is that while I'm waiting I will serve God with all I have, That while I'm waiting I will worship Him. These lyrics are so powerful and they truly are the prayer of my heart while I'm waiting for God's call to return to Haiti.
