Saturday, February 19, 2011
The past month can be summed up in a few words EMOTIONAL HERMIT. I got so overwhelmed with life (dealing with my granpa’s death, moving with a short time to pack & all that comes with that, huge decisions about the future, dealing with health issues, trying to catch up for missing a week at work, and other little things) that I seriously went to work...came home…went to my room…and became and emotional Hermit. Not a God-centered emotional Hermit…Just an emotional Hermit. I cut myself off from the few things that could/would have helped…I didn’t go to Bible Study, cut myself off from my housemates, and didn’t answer phone calls. I look back on the past month and ask myself REALLY?? Now did that do you any good??? I never felt less spiritually, emotionally, or physically drained after being an Emotional Hermit for the night I always felt worse…with a headache on top of it all ;)
I was catching up on my missionary friends blogs yesterday and read one from Jody Castillo that really gave me a wake up call. She posted…
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. I Peter 5:6-8 NIV
“It makes so much sense to me now; you can’t cast your cares on Jesus if you think you can do it on your own! Duh! But the real ugly comes in after you have cast your cares upon Jesus… 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us to be alert and ready for Satan—he is looking for his next kill! This now makes so much sense to me—of course the Devil wants to get us when we are down—when we are at full power he doesn’t stand a chance. It is only when we are burdened by a heavy load that he can truly catch us!”
I seriously have been the perfect prey for Satan the last month…Like a sheep among the wolves! AND instead of calling out to my Shephard (who would have come to rescue and comforted me) I allowed Satan to catch me. And after he caught me he filled my head with lies that I would dwell on, made me an emotional hermit to isolate me from truth, and attacked my health. Satan knew I was down…He knew that, that was the time to attack…and I had no energy to fight back. I allowed Satan to tear me apart.
Jody also wrote… “If you want to know how big your God is – take a look at your worry list! The longer the list – the smaller your God!” Well, I know I say all the time WOW…I serve a BIG GOD! But this month I sure have not acted like it…My worry list has been so long…One night I didn’t fall asleep for 3 hours because I was worrying about things I had absolutely not control over!
Courtney Peirce had this as her facebook status- ☆ Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how BIG your God is! ☆
THATS IT! I AM DONE BEING AN EMOTIONAL HERMIT! I AM DONE ACTING LIKE MY GOD IS SMALL…MY GOD IS SOOOOO INCREDIBLY BIG AND I WANT MY LIFE TO REFLECT IT! THERE IS NO STORM IN MY LIFE THAT CAN COME MY WAY THAT IS BIGGER THAN MY GOD.
One thing I have been worrying a lot about the past few weeks is where I will be next year and what I will be doing. Am I suppose to stay with Douglas County School District as their Occupational Therapist…I love my job (the people I work with, the kids I work with, and just everything I do) and I selfishly do not want to move again…I do not want to pick up my life again and start over. It was the hardest thing I ever did moving out here not knowing anyone… I have about 5 possibilities floating in my head…I even spent an hour crunching number yesterday to see if one would work…It is RIDICULOUS how much I have worried over this the last few weeks. If I had spent half that time surrendered in prayer I guarantee I would have a better idea of where God wants me. I was reminded last night of a saying “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans!” Right after I heard that…I could just see God laughing…I was reminded that I can worry for hours and days…I can plan everything out so it looks perfect from my wordly view BUT God’s plans are ALWAYS better than mine and his will SUCCEED.
I mean SERIOUSLY if I would stop and look back on the last 7 months of my life and all that God did and how he has blessed my steps in Nevada…He has been soooooo good to me! He has given me peace that surpasses understanding…He has blessed me with an amazing church family…He has lead me to amazing friends and ministry opportunities here in Nevada, He has given me the ability to do a job that I am not qualified to do…Shouldn’t this be enough evidence that MY GOD IS SOOOOO BIG…That He loves me so much and that He is going to lead and guide my every step!?!
Romans 8:28- “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” The key to this verse is those who LOVE HIM and who have received his spirit. I look back on the times in my life God said NO! to my plans because He had other plans. His plans were always better than mine…His plans always brought Him more glory and blessed me more abundantly. BUT at the time it was not easy…it was frustrating and I didn’t always react the way I should have. His plans were NEVER what I would have chosen…They were never the easiest road BUT they were always the BEST! SO WHY DO I WORRY??? WHY DO I WASTE PRECIOUS TIME WORRYING when it gets me NOWHERE?!?
Last night at Bible Study (yes, I finally went & figure this one out…God spoke to me in mighty ways ;) we studied about the life of Joseph. Talk about a powerful...intense story that went nothing like Joseph would have planned. AND This is a TRUE story proven not just by the fact it is in the Bible but multiple historical documents have this story in it! There is so much to learn about God, his perfect plans & timing, and the character we should have. This is a long story going from Gen 37-46. I am going to just hit on a few points….
1.Joseph was only 17 years old when his brothers sold him into Slavery. And right before they sold him into slavery he had just received 2 Dreams that revealed his brothers and family would bow down to him AND he had just received a special robe from his father. He was feeling on top of the world! I can see Him being excited about his future! Then BAM! He is sold into slavery by His OWN brothers and went from living in a rich family to being the SCUM of the earth…I can’t even imagine what was going through Joseph’s head as he walked with chains, an empty stomach, while being mocked for days…I think I would be pretty BITTER at God and the world by the time I reached EGYPT.
2.We learn that when he got to Egypt he was sold on the auction block to Potiphar one of pharaoh’s officials. We learn that THE LORD WAS WITH JOSEPH AND GAVE HIM SUCCESS IN EVERYTHING HE DID. After probably years of being a faithful, honest, hard-working, God’s loving servant…Joseph found favor in Potiphar’s eyes and He entrusted Joseph with everything he owned and the Lord blessed everything in Josephs care.
3.TEMPTATION COMES (Potiphar’s wife tries to get Joseph to sleep with her)…HE REFUSES (even though day after day she tempted him)…BUT even though Joseph never gave into temptation Potiphar’s wife lied and got Joseph thrown into Prison…Once again He has gone from being on top of the world to the scum of the earth.
4.Joseph was thrown in prison BUT even while in prison it says “THE LORD WAS WITH HIM, He showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison guard…gave him success in whatever he did.” While in prison Joseph didn’t become bitter or hard-hearted…we see that he had empathy for the fellow prisoners, that he looked for opportunities to show kindness and help others. He even interpreted dreams for 2 of the prisoners that came true and because of this a few years down the line is what got him out of prison…We know the prison was not a nice place because scripture says “I have done nothing to deserve being put in a dungeon.” We need to live every moment for the glory of God no matter if we are on top of the world or in a place that seems like the scum of the earth because God works ALL THINGS together for good of those who LOVE HIM! We may not deserve to be in the place we are in BUT God has us there for a reason!
5.Joseph finally gets out of prison probably when he is around 30 years old because He is called to interpret one of Pharaoh’s dreams…but how did Pharaoh know about him…one of the prisoners he had interpreted his dream remembered Joseph and told Pharaoh about him. Joseph is called before Pharaoh and when asked to interpret his dream says, “I cannot do it, but God will give Pharaoh the answer he desires.” Look at his HUMILITY…After years in prison and finally a chance to get out and the first thing Joseph does is give glory to GOD!
6.Once again Joseph is blessed because the Spirit of God is on him and Pharoah puts him in charge of the whole land of Egypt!
7.EVERYTHING above had to happen in order to set up for the original 2 dreams he had before he was sold into slavery to come true…BUT everything also had to happen to prepare him to be in a place that was all about God! And be able to take on the responsibility of ruling over all of EGYPT. As you read on in the story you see everything had to happen to prepare for the EXODUS later on…It is amazing to see the rest of the story unfold and I challenge you to take time to read it sometime.
8.A few last thoughts…
•Was Joseph’s Life all Good?...ABSOLUTELY NOT! He had many trials to face, his life seems like a rollercoaster ride.
•Was Joseph Alone in this journey?...ABSOLUTELY NOT! All throughout the story we see that GOD WAS WITH JOSEPH…The Lord in the midst of all that He went through was with him and was blessing him and was guiding his every footstep. God wants to do the same thing for us. God wants to unfold his plan for our lives…He has a perfect plan and those plans include to prosper us NOT to harm us…to give us a hope and a future BUT it is conditional. The only way He will do this is if we keep HIM first in our life If He becomes our EVERYTHING! The following is my PRAYER!!!
EVERYTHING by Tim Hughs
God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping
God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting
God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing
Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything
“Consider it pure Joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kids, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything. If any of you lacks anything you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” James 1:1-5
Last night after Bible Study I listed to a talk on DREAMS by Phil Visuer… I just wanted share a few quotes
•“God could have but…He didn’t”- God could do anything…He could audibly tell me what he wants me to do next year…he could open doors for me to be in Haiti today…He could have prevented the earthquake in Haiti…prevented cholera from happening in Haiti…etc. BUT HE DIDN’T…Why because His thoughts are greater than ours and He see the BIG Picture!
•“God wants to know what is more important to us…our dream or God” OUCH! I have been putting my dream of doing good for God in Haiti above GOD!
•“He who has God plus many things has nothing more than He has God alone.” God can take everything away in a moment just like He did from Joseph 2x…would you be ok if EVERYTHING was taken away except God?
•If you don’t know what God wants you to do…WAIT ON HIM!- I need to WAIT UPON THE LORD! He will show me what He wants me to do…BUT only in HIS TIMING!
•Focus passion on walking with God then God will be able to fulfill dream through you. WALK with GOD and WAIT on GOD- God can only call people when they can hear him…If I am too “busy doing” that I can’t hear God’s voice I am useless to him…Most important thing is to make God #1. I do not want to be useless to God…I want to be his instrument to change the world BUT 1st I need to have an intimate…deep relationship with God that is rooted in KNOWING GOD 1st before working for God.
My Challenge for us all today is to “Hold everything loosely except God himself!”
So in conclusion…nothing has really changed from the beginning of this blogpost to the end except my perspective of GOD and my attitude… BUT PERSPECTIVE is EVERYTHING! God is worth pursuing with my WHOLE HEART…He is worth BEING MY EVERYTHING! He knows the plans He has for me…He has me right where He wants me and I have to be willing to live full of Joy, in His presence…under His grace in THIS Moment in time. Scripture says when I seek him with MY WHOLE HEART that I WILL FIND HIM! Joseph never knew God’s plans…He could not see the future to see that it would turn out ok YET He didn’t get bitter…He remained trustworthy, Noble, Humble, Caring, and a man after God’s own Heart! May We no matter what are circumstances are right now…even though we cannot see the future and what lies ahead…MAY WE TRUST in GOD…The God who created EVERYTHING…The God who knows us INSIDE and OUT! The God who loves us UNCONDITIONALLY…The God who was willing to send His one and only son to die for us…May we be willing to Accept His love and face each day with the HOPE of ETERNITY with Him! May God bless you abundantly today AND May we hold EVERYTHING loosely except God Himself!
Please Pray for me as I discern my future and where God is calling me...As I strive to GIVE HIM my EVERYTHING and as I fight off the Devil!