Feeling Unqualified

The past few weeks learning my new job has not been easy in the least bit. There have been many times I have pushed waaaaaaaaay to far out of my comfort zone...I have felt unworthy/unqualified...and 1 or 2 questioned God a little bit. BUT WHY? Why would I doubt the God who answered my prayer to show me where He wanted me, who opened every door to lead me to this job, who has helped me along every step of the way during the journey. This journey has brought me closer to God than I have ever been. It has forced me to rely on Him more than ever to make it threw every minute of my day. Everything is new, everything is harder than before but God has given me strength when I needed it, wisdom when I needed it, Confidence that could only come from him, a peace that surpasses all understanding....and the list could go on and on.

Tonight was one of those nights that I was just empty. I had given my all today, been challenged, I was brain dead...tired...and just wanted to curl up in bed BUT I didn't I went to Bible Study & had an amazing time of worship and got to dig into God's word in Nahum & was reminded of the character of the AMAZING God I serve. After the service the women I work with that invited me to this church spoke words of encouragement to me reminding me that what other people at work who are advising me don't realize is that God called me to this job! SOOO TRUE! (thanks Lila). I then came home and read a blog post from my dear sister in Christ in Haiti who put into words exactly what I was feeling (thanks Beth!). I could not say it better myself so I am going to post it below

“Not that we are in any way confident of doing anything by our own resources-our ability comes from God.” 2 Cor. 3:5 (phillips translation)

“As we yield our lives to Him we discover He exchanges our self-sufficiency for His all-sufficiency. He makes us the person He wants us to be and prepares us for the task He has for us to do.” stamm

Today I was reminded that I can only rely and be confident in the one who created me…who knitted me together in my mother’s womb, who knows the number of my days and who equipps me for everything He desires me to do. I am not always confident that I can complete a task or finish the race as strong as I think I should. I don’t always feel I have the right to do what I am doing. I don’t always believe others think I should be doing what I am doing or have the credentials or diploma to do what I am doing. In essence I feel a lot like Caleb. “He didn’t follow what others thought he should do Caleb longed to see God work in power and he knew he would be less likely to rely on God if he dwelt in the easy places.” (swindoll?) Caleb didn’t ask questions like ” what do the experts say” or “what do my friends say?” He was seeking more of the question, “what would God say?” God called him a man with a different spirit and he followed him wholeheartily (Numbers 14: 24) I want to be more like Caleb. I don’t want to always think to myself ” what will others say?” or “what do others think?” or do as I did today and believe I am not qualified. God reminded me today that he doesn’t call the qualified, but qualifies the called. I desire to seek the mountains so that I can witness God doing things through my life that can only be explained by His mighty power. I desire to see Him glorified.