I won't lie...And I am not proud of it BUT...there have been many times I have prayed and asked God "WHY?" over the last 5 weeks.
~Why Typhoid?...
~Why didn't the treatment work the first time?...
~Why did I have to fall in the 20-30% that the Typhoid shot did not prevent me from getting it?...
~Why did it hide in my gallbladder and come back with Vengence?...
~Why didn't the second round of IV antibiotics kick it?...
~Why all the other symptoms and possible Dungue Fever or Malaria?...
~Why couldn't I get better in Haiti...Why did I have to be flewn back to the states?...
~Why didn't the hospital in Miami find anything and now the dr. in PA is?...
I could go on and on...
I tried to overcome my "Why?" questions by renewing my mind with the truth. I listened to many podcast sermons, christian music, when I felt up to it read scripture/christian books. I also tried to take my mind off of things watching movies. Those who know me well, know that I have a really hard time resting and tend to be a workaholic. Needless to say being bedbound for 2-3 weeks was extremely hard. I really wanted to learn whatever lessons God wanted me to learn so I could get out of that bed ;-) I did work on a few Miriam Center projects on the computer and putting snaps on cloth diapers....
For those of you who are not on facebook and thus may have no idea what I am talking about, I will give you a quick rundown of my health battles the last 5 weeks...
About 5 weeks ago I got Typhoid. I was up all night sick 1 night and it took everything out of me. I started oral antibiotics and rested for ~2 days. I felt well enough to return to my daily activities. Morning continued to be rough and my stomach was still working through Typhoid but the medicine was helping. I continued my antibiotics for 12 days. (In the week I was healthy I had a Therapy Dream Team (a Speech Therapist, Physical Therapist, and me an Occupational Therapist) all in Haiti at the same time. It was pretty AWSOME! (Future blog to come with details about the Dream Team ;-)
About a week after finishing up the Antibiotics I started to get sick again. The first day I was just very tired, weak, headache, back pain...the next day it was worse and a fever, stomach pain, diahrea/vomitting. They thought I had either Dungue Fever or Malaria. Since their is not treatment for Dungue Fever they treated me for Malaria. After finishing the entire Malaria treatment I was still sick. They ran labs and thought I might have a stomach virus since typhoid came back negative. I was started on IV for dehydration as it had been about a week at this point since holding food in. The dr. also gave me some medicine to treat the symptoms of stomach pain and heartburn. They started me 2 days later on IV antibiotics and I had another round of more intensive labs done. The labs came back with my liver counts being a little off, definite typhoid, low iron, gastritis, and low white blood cells. They switched the me to 1 different antibiotic. I remained on those antibiotics for 5 more days along with receiving IV fluids. I was still unable to keep food in.
By this point I was beginning to get frustrated...I did not feel well...I did not feel like I was getting better...I was tired of running to the bathroom especially at night with a flashlight, waiting for all the coachroaches to scatter, hoping their was toilet paper and that the toilet would flush...at times I felt like the 3 Haitian Drs. who were doing my treatment were not communicating...I felt like information was getting lost in translation...started questioning towards the end if they really new what was going on...or if they were stumped...I was emotionally done...I wanted to feel better...I wanted to get back to working with my kids...I wanted to get back to working with Molly on setting up Speech Therapy Program in the Miriam Center and Tackling the Safe Feeding...I wanted to hold my kids (not just hear them or watch them from a distance)...
At this point it had been 14 days since I had really held much food in and I had lost 15lbs...There was a team of American Surgeons in at the Mission for surgery week. They came and looked at me and recommended I seek further medical help either in PAP or in the states. I was torn...I did not know what to do...part of me wanted to go to PAP that way I could return to the Miriam Center sooner but that still leaves the language barrier and a Haiti hospital and what could they do for me that I didn't already have done in Haiti already...going to the states would be more expensive and longer recovery but it would mean better testing, family, friends, food, and luxuries. I could not decide and so Maureen and the doctors decided that I needed to go back to the states.
Last Wednesday I started an all day adventure out of Haiti to a Miami Hospital. It was the extra adventurous package. Justin was gracious enough to take the trip with me (as we all knew I was not well enough to do this trip on my own). We left the mission at 8:00AM by tap-tap to the PdP airport (about an hour away) to get on a small 4 passanger MAF flight. So thankful that Jody was able to set up this flight as the other option was the 8-9 hour off-roading bus ride (Thank you Jesus!). We flew to PAP where we learned my insurance company needed me to see a dr. in PAP to clear me as stable to fly and say I needed to be taken to the states. We drove ~30-40 minutes to a small clinic and waited to see the dr. The dr. wrote me a few perscriptions and said I should go back to the states. She told the insurance company this but also stated I should be able to fly on a commercial flight. Justin and I were both shocked as at this point I could barely stand & walk. So back off to the airport and the insurance was working on getting us on the 3:00PM flight from PAP to Miami. I managed to make it through security with my IV port in and made it to the waiting area where I quickly laid down and fell asleep. I remember boarding the plane and from then on is a blur. I guess I had a wheelchair/car transport off plane & through airport, Justin filled out customs paperwork and he held my hand to sign, stretcher waiting on other side of customs and ambulance ride to ER. I remember about 3 hours into ER visit. All I can say is THANK YOU...THANK YOU...THANK YOU Justin!!!
My Mom Flew into Miami Thursday Night. I spent 2.5 days in the hospital in Miami. Since they did not know what was wrong they had me in isolation room in the ER and a private room in hospital. They ran tons of tests and bloodwork. Their conclusion was that the typhoid had hidden in my gallbladder and I was very dehydrated. They rehydrated me and all the tests came back negative. They felt like the last round of IV antibiotics had gotten the typhoid. Since I was holding plane rice and chicken broth down without diahrea or vomiting they were releasing from hospital with instructions to follow up with my primary dr. Of course my first question to the dr. was "When can I go back to Haiti?" and My mother did not like his response because she knows me oh too well..."Whenever you feel up to it." Well my mother knows I would say tomorrow...It was decided probably 2-3 weeks. The next day I was flewn back home to finish recovering, gain weight back and see my primary dr.
The trip back to PA took everything out of me. I was still very weak and not tolerating being upright for more than a few hours at a time. Luckily I had w/c escort through the airports because I don't think I would have made it without it. By the time I got to PA and in the car I was done...I laid across the back seat and slept all the way home. Woke up long enough to walk inside and fall into bed...
I went to the dr. 3 days after getting home. I was still struggling to hold food other than foods on the BRATTY diet. He ordered a slew of bloodwork and labs to be run. I went yesterday to have those labs drawn. I got a call this morning that he needed to discuss some of my lab results...My heart dropped...Never good when the dr. calls you on your cell when he can't get you on the home phone to talk about results. He reported that all my labs had not come back but some did and that he had some concerns. He stated that my liver counts were still a little off and my pancrease counts were off by a little over 200. He stated he would consider admitting me back to hospital but it is really borderline and thinks for a few reasons it is best if he doesn't admitt me. He said I needed to go back to clear liquid diet till further testing is done. I go for some more tests on Monday and back to see the dr. on Teusday. Praying for answers and healing but also that I would embrace this season God has me in, rest in Him, allow him to minister to my heart/spirit, allow him to heal me not only physically but spiritually and emotionally. Jezi Konnen...Jesus knows...He knows why all this happened and is happening and will happen. He is in Control...He is the great physician...I TRUST IN HIM!
As I sit back and reflect on the past 5 weeks I can see how blessed I am
1. That I have such an AMAZING mission family who took such good care of me! They checked on me frequently... Helped me to the bathroom... helped me around with my IV pole and even helped me name it (pokey and slim jim!), they prayed with me and for me...They went to the onestop to get me juice, crackers & ice cream...located ice for me. They encouraged me...loved on me...and reminded me I needed to focus on me getting better because I am not good to the kids or the Miriam Center sick. Maureen got me all the medicine & IV fluids I needed. They all went out of their way to care for me. THANK YOU Stephanie, Molly, Maureen, Justin, Caitlin, and Ashley!!!
2. That we do have such great Hatian Doctors to coordinate my care and access to the prescriptions, IV equiptment, and fluids I needed. That I never did have to go to Hatian Hospital and received great care. Thank you Dr. Simon and your intern doctors for going above in beyond to make sure I was taken care of.
3. That I do have missionary health insurance that got me out of Haiti and to the hospital in Miami...even if it was the extra adventurous package.
I could go on and on recounting the blessings and the ways I saw God at work the past few weeks. A few scriptures He has really been laying on my heart has been
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
God Has reminded me that I am in the Season on HEALING...
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14
THANK YOU for all your prayers, support, words of encouragement the past few weeks. I truly appreciate them. I do ask that you would continue to pray for my health...pray for wisdom and guidance for the doctors...pray that I would be able to rest and heal...that God would speak to me and fill me up spiritually and emotionally. Pray that I would be able to return home to Haiti soon but also that I would embrace the time I have here at home with family and friends. Pray that I would embrace this season of HEALING.
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